January 21, 2019
The question at this very moment: What kind of love am I looking for?
This question came to me as I was scrolling thru my IG account.
The best gift you are ever going to give someone: the permission to feel safe in their own skin. To feel worthy. To feel like they are enough. – Hannah Brencher
It made me wonder about what kind of love/relationship am I looking for….
I want a love that challenges me, scares me but never ever changes me………
I keep repeating it to myself. Just be yourself. Be the best version of yourself!
Even while jotting down the things I’ve learned about life and how wonderful it is to be me, I still get my moments. I get embarrassed sometimes because the very friends I inspire and give encouragement and support to are also the friends who I run to when I am having my own issues. But they don’t care, they still love me.
I feel like that is true friendship, sharing the things you learn and inspiring each other to becoming the very best. I think that is some sweet stuff, when you can be completely yourself with your friends without being afraid of being judged. Isn’t that a wonderful thing?
Sometimes friends will need you and sometimes you’ll need them, & there is nothing wrong with that.
I came to realize that the kind of love I’ve been looking for has always been around me anyways.
The kind of love I’ve been looking for has always been here with me… & for many years I struggled with looking so hard for this kind of love. I forced people to stay with me, to do things that are out of themselves just to love me exactly how my friends and my family has always loved me.
I feel like this kind of revelations always come to me…. But without the sense of security within myself, it never stuck. I felt so insecure and lost for many years and finding my true self again has opened up a new world for me.
Yes, I still get hit with anxiety, things/situations still trigger self sabotaging acts, but this time, I know I got my friends, I know I got myself, I know I got my family and there is nothing else I’ll need.
It is true, we need to appreciate the ones that matter the most to us and they are the ones that let you be you, no matter what.
So if any one new comes along I am going to make sure I am going to be myself 100%.