Aligning with Life…

A few years ago, I stumbled upon a page on instagram, Warrior Training Goddess. I believe the page found me or the universe was slightly directing me to this page. There was a lot of positive quotes and encouragement present in that instagram page that ultimately led me to purchasing the book, Warrior Goddess Training by Heatherash Amara. I’ve had the book for a while but I waited to read it. Now, while reading this book, I asked the question, What does it mean to be aligned with life?

 

To answer this for myself, I started with the quote below (that I gathered from the book itself):

 

“Aligning with life means committing to our intent, or goals, 100 percent as well as surrendering to the outcome, whatever it may be.”

 

In my own understanding,

 

Aligning with life means giving it your all, in whatever it may be: intent, goals, dreams. & then being able to accept whatever the outcome is, good or bad.

 

It’s not regretting the hard work you put into achieving your dreams.

 

It’s not regretting the time spent working on your goals.

 

It’s not regretting all the things you had to give up or sacrifice to focus on your dreams.

 

It’s not regretting all the struggles that you could have avoided if it wasn’t for that goal.

 

Even when the results of you giving it your all doesn’t meet your expectations.

 

Even when things don’t go as planned.

 

Even when things go wrong.

 

You accept whatever it is for what it is and live life with no regrets.

 

Aligning with life is finding ways to be happy with whatever the results are.

 

It’s finding the silver lining of things.

 

It’s finding the blessings from all of the shortcomings of life. (or not even thinking of the shortcomings)

 

It’s trusting that life is beautiful no matter what, where, who, how it may be.

 

In the book, Heatherash Amara also mentions that “Life is neither fair nor unfair. Life is a force that constantly moves and changes.” There is a struggle within myself upon reading this that I can’t quite completely comprehend. It’s as if I’ve been living life thinking I’m important that the world revolves around me but obviously it doesn’t. I believe many of us feel this way. We say things like “life is unfair” without realizing that life/world don’t single out things. It just happens that way. It just happened that you’re in this spot today. You’re in this space right now. There is no right or wrong life. Life is just that, it just is. It will keep on moving even if you stop, even when you’re gone, life will just keep on going.

 

The important thing you can do in life is to live life to the fullest. To enjoy each moment, moment by moment and to appreciate what it is that you have. It is to see the world for the beauty and magical thing that it is.

 

This kind of revelation, growth and development takes time. It is said in many books, not just this one, that it will take time and that the only thing that matters is that you keep on moving forward. One of the main things, I’ve read, heard and learned about creating a better life for yourself is that it takes time and dedication. So give yourself some time. Give yourself some credit and also give yourself a break when things are tough! Don’t put so much pressure on yourself.

 

I feel like I write these blogs to remind myself of what I’m learning each day. I’m writing and posting to give myself a break, to give myself some encouragement and to give myself something to look back to when things are tough!

 

I am a working progress and my goal is to live life to the fullest, however, it may come!

Thanks for reading my thoughts for the day!

 

Yours Truly Yours,

 

Piawia!

 

Notes:

 

Heatherash Amara. Warrior Goddess Training: Become the Woman You Are Meant To Be. 2014

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10 Ways to Decrease Negativity To Create a More Positive Life!

How to decrease negativity in your life

I know that life doesn’t always turn out as planned and negativity is inevitable but there are some ways to decrease them in your life.  Many people wait for more positive things to come along but in order for more positivism to come into your life you must work for them. You must do some serious look into what we feed our minds and our spirits. We must CREATE a positive life and provide ourselves with a space where negativity doesn’t rule our lives.

So, here are some of my key ideas to decrease negativity to live more positively:

  1. Filter the people you surround yourself with.

Always be in a place where self love can exist for you is a reminder I tell myself and the people close to me. Self Love doesn’t always exist with the people we hang out with. Sometimes you have to avoid or decrease your time with people you’ve known for years. It’s ok, it’s ok to take care of yourself first. It’s ok to realize that some people bring more negativity in your life than positive and to do something about it: avoid, lessen the time spent, etc. Life is about growing and learning what’s best for you and going for it. If you surround yourself with people who you can’t truly be yourself with then that is not a place where self love can exist for you; make necessary changes and start enjoying life more.

  1. Limit your social media binge.

I’ve recently (was able to) limit my social media used. It’s been the most active I’ve been for a while. I finished a book, I’ve been working out everyday (run, gym & yoga) I’ve been eating healthier and been thinking more positively. Social Media is like an addiction. You get succumbed to scrolling and scrolling without realizing that you’ve already spent hours and hours on it. It is the easiest past time and the most unproductive feeling you’ll ever get. So, if you can, limit your time on it. You can do so by first deciding that this is something you’d like to do & then finding ways to do so. For example, you can put a time limit to your social media use, you can just check it when you’re close to a computer (vs on your phone), you can check your social media every other day, etc. There are many ways to do this but you have to decide and then be firm and consistent with your decision.

  1. Avoid negative media: tv shows, radio stations, music etc.

Sometimes I find myself listening to a radio station where the DJ is pressuring the other DJ to do something she/he doesn’t want to do or like shows that make you sad or anxious, avoid that. Of course, everything is preference but if you find yourself sad and anxious all the time, check what you’ve been watching and listening to, it really makes a difference in your mood,  your day and just your life in general.

  1. Meditate or Pray.

Meditating and praying are often perceived as being religious, being too spiritual, etc and many people nowadays are usually afraid to be labeled as such. But, for me, meditating and praying can be however and whatever you’d like it to be; it could be religious or not; it could be spiritual or not. It’s up to you and no one else should be able to tell you what it is but yourself.

  1. Read as many books as you can.

I feel that reading changed my life so much.  With reading, I was able to learn so much more about myself. I started learning why I feel certain things and really got myself out of myself. I have come a long way but I’m sure there are still more to tackle and learn. Reading gives you the opportunity to explore parts of yourself, parts of the world and create imagination beyond the things you already know.

  1. Be thankful & proud of your progress no matter how small or big it may seem.

I cannot emphasize this enough (to myself, lol). Sometimes, you forget to be kind to yourself. One of the things I always hear from running coaches on my Nike app is being gentle to yourself. Be a kind coach, like how you would coach and be there for your friends, that’s how you should be to yourself first and foremost! So yes, celebrate every step and decrease (or if possible, eliminate) negative self talk!

  1. Find a hobby; something you can focus yourself with.

I find that people with a hobby or something to focus their minds to are very happy people. Giving yourself something to look forward to in each and everyday. For example, mine is running, I find myself looking for a run whenever things are tough vs. just sitting around and waiting for the stress to pass by. You can read a book, go for a walk etc. There are many hobbies out there that can help keep your mind at bay. You just have to find what is the right one for you.

  1. Learn to be alone and love your own company.

This one is one of the most liberating experience for me, enjoying my own company. I used to have FOMO all the time and it made it harder for me to create a positive space for myself. Realizing this, I set out a goal to one day be comfortable being alone and then boom: I was watching movies alone, dining alone and enjoying my very own company. I no longer depended on people to do things with me. In turn, I felt that I became more suitable to be around people. I also set higher standards for the energy that is around me. I am more open and confident about myself because I know that I can be happy just being by myself and my enjoyment no longer depended on whether or not I have company but depended on how I feel inside.

  1. Remind yourself that the things people do and say that hurts you are not a reflection of who you are but a reflection of how they feel about themselves & vice versa.

If you feel negatively towards others, there might be a lingering emotions or pains that you need to look into and work thru! This one is still very hard for me sometimes. It’s easier to blame that there is something wrong with other people, to not look within but it is a must. Looking within (no matter how hard it may be) gives you an opportunity to heal and ultimately living a more positive life! No more victim mode and more working on myself mode!

  1. Last but the not least, create and repeat POSITIVE “I AM” affirmations.

I wanted to include “I AM” affirmations because I am learning that whatever comes out of your mouth is what who you become! As I said before, NO MORE NEGATIVE SELF TALK, in exchange, you may start with POSITIVE SELF TALK instead! Start your day by saying positive things about yourself: I AM LOVE, I AM WORTHY, I AM STRENGTH, etc. What you say about yourself is important and it should always be filled with love towards yourself because self love ultimately leads to a more positive life!

Continue reading 10 Ways to Decrease Negativity To Create a More Positive Life!

How to be more consistent with yourself….

March 11, 2019: Today I felt refreshed, oh what a wonderful feeling.

I haven’t been myself lately and it completely took me off guard. I was super euphoric at some point and then bam I was kind of sad.

I want to study mental health more. I want to find out different ways to manage these kind of setbacks.

One of the things I keep hearing from my S.O., people I follow on IG, on YouTube and from people I admire and look up to is the word CONSISTENCY.

Oh you want to start a blog? a vlog? A business? You want to run faster and longer? The answer is consistency.

Being consistent just means showing up, doing what you said you’re going to do even on times you don’t feel like doing it. It’s fighting the curse of excuses and consistently winning over them.

In the beginning of this year, I set out to write something everyday, as much as I can. In the month of January, I was able to fulfill this goal. I wrote every night and I was able to post blogs and share them with my friends and my family. But then it got real. It got to the point where the thoughts I was writing were thoughts I did not feel comfortable enough to share, so I stopped. I was getting the gizz of it all. People were starting to follow me and at some point my page was visited more than 100 times. Why did I stop? I was so courageous and brave, I bought my domain and made my page official but then I stopped? Again, why did I stop? In the month of February, I barely wrote. I posted 2 entries on my page and didn’t share it with friends and family like I did on my other posts.

What stopped me? And what stops a lot of people from fulfilling their goals, their dreams and ultimately living the life they desire?

FEAR! For this question, Fear is the answer. A lot of the excuses that we make up are created to justify our fears. Fear of failing, fear of being ridiculed or not taken seriously, fear of judgment and many other forms of fear. Yes, fear comes in many forms and many times those fears create excuses that stop people from being consistent and firm with their plans and their ideas that ultimately prevents their consistency, leaving them stuck and afraid to move forward.

I set out to be braver this year round and my fear still got to me even with superb support system, being it my family, friends and most especially my S.O. I’ve never felt so supported and yet I still let fear hinder my consistency and most specially my growth.

Fear is truly one of the greatest enemy of consistency.

So how do you fight your fears to become more consistent with your words and your goals?

I have some ideas! I am willing to share them. They have been working for me for the past several weeks and I hope these ideas and concepts will help you be more consistent with achieving your goals:

  1. Knowing that fear is inevitable. With this in mind, I set myself up to success when I accept that fear will be present. I wonder and ponder on what might I be fearing to make up the excuses? My S.O. tells me, “don’t say you know when you really don’t.” You really have to dig deep sometimes. One of the things that helped me thru figuring out what I’m fearing is writing. I write the question, “why am I afraid of ________?” & then answer it. There are times where I would end up writing, “I don’t really fear this” at the end of my writing that leads me to realizing that the fear I have is not true and continue on to do what I set myself out to do.
  2. Lessening the pressure you put on yourself. I created a challenge to run 2 miles a day from February 11th to February 28th. I was fearful I would fail but one of the things that kept me going was reminding myself to not put so much pressure on myself. When I set up my run for the day, I quietly remind myself that “there’s no pressure & to do what I can.” Keeping that in mind put so much ease on my runs making my runs more enjoyable. I decided to share this journey on social media that ultimately led to Friends joining me on the challenge and they asked me what the rules were and I said, “No rules, No pressure.” I’ve been running for 32 days, as of March 14, 2019, way pass the time frame I had originally set out to do. I feel good and I don’t feel drained. My friends are super grateful and are happy they started the challenge too. If I had let fear set in and decided to not share my challenge, I probably wouldn’t have enjoyed it much and my friends wouldn’t have joined me. I set aside my fear of being ridiculed and my fear of failure. Setting them aside gave me the opportunity to share the joy of accomplishments with my friends and inspire people to be more active too. Not having the pressure I put on myself made myself more accountable and motivated.
  3. Be more organized. Try your best to be more organized, with your thoughts, your plans and whatever else is in your life. One night, I decided to create an online calendar, as my S.O. suggested {I talk to him a lot}. At first, I was stubborn and thought “No way!” but as soon as I started that calendar, a whole lot of thoughts and worries went out the window. I guess you carry these things on your mind too, the plans, the events, the commitments and many more. As I released these things to put on my calendar, my mind felt at ease, I don’t have to messed up things & I don’t have to miss any events. I can confidently plan, confidently think of other things, confidently focus on other things knowing that I am organized with my days. I also created tasked that I have been checking off each day that makes me feel accomplished vs it just being another day. Organizing can come in many forms too. The key idea of organizing is to have a clear path where your thoughts are not scattered and ultimately alleviate some of your fears of messing up or missing things, events or commitments.
  4. Trust yourself more. I remind myself this all the time. Part of my anxiety battles were brought about because of my self mistrust. For a while, I didn’t trust myself (at all). I’ve come a long way and realizing that Loving Yourself is Trusting Yourself changed my life {for not only the better but for the best}. Even if you fail, even if you make a mistake, even if people are against it, you have to trust that you did the best you could with whatever resources were presented and were available to you. We are all human, we are wired to fail & wired to overcome them too but when we let our fears fight our battles we really don’t get too far. Being brave and fearless can only happen if you give yourself the trust you deserve! Trust that your talented, Trust that you have something important and meaningful to say. Trust that you can inspire. Trust that you are a wonderful human being. Trust that you can overcome all your fears and Trust that you can be consistent with your plans. Just trust and believe in yourself.
  5. “Replace can’t with maybe.” by Alexi Pappas. There’s no other way to word this. I hear and read a lot about the idea that what you say and what you believe to be is actually what happens and what becomes of you. So every time I say things like “I’m not fast”, “I’m not a writer”, or “I can’t do this”, I replace them with more positive thoughts (when I catch it). I am more aware of the thoughts and words I say about myself. I remind myself of words like “not yet”, inspired by Charlie Rocket, to remind myself that there’s always opportunities for growth and even though it feels and seem unattainable, if you ignore those fears, there’s always a chance: a chance to grow, a chance to be faster, a chance to be better, a chance to be who you want yourself to be. So be inspired, follow people who started from where you think you are and witness them face their fears and fulfill the things you dream of to remind yourself that there is always a chance to “replace can’t with maybe.
  6. Another one that I [try to] do and would like to share is to celebrate every accomplishments. It doesn’t matter how small they are, those accomplishments are meant to be celebrated and be proud of. Small things could lead to big things. The little more that you do the closer you get to your goals, the BIG Things. I feel that by celebrating every accomplishments makes being consistent more enjoyable and less pressured. You finished a book, celebrate! You read 3 pages of a book, celebrate! Be grateful for yourself, for trying and for facing your fears! Celebrate yourself for getting up every morning and be grateful for being able to and being given the opportunity just to do something, anything. Celebrate the idea that you are capable and that you have all the opportunities in the world to do what you love you just have to face your fears!

Continue reading How to be more consistent with yourself….

Forgive, Forget & Love.

January 13, 2019

Today, I realized that I want to write about so many things. As I am starting to type I couldn’t think of putting all my thoughts into one passage. This weekend blessed me with a God Daughter, a 13.1 Mile Finish, a Bullseye, a Spotless Clean Car {for my Dad} & a moment with God I haven’t had in a while, all of which made me grateful for life itself!

 

In this blog, I want to write about my Dad. I’ve been meaning to write about this because this is so close to my heart. MY DAD HAD A STROKE. For the very first time in my life my actual fear happened. I always worried about my parents getting sick and worry about what I would do &  what would happen & then it happens. I was overwhelmed with worry & confusion.

With this incident, I learned a lot about myself and what it means to have a family. You see, not many people know this about me, I was losing faith in mine. The day before my Dad had the stroke, I was angry. Angry at the world for not having my back. I preached and I preached about believing in the Universe but yet I was angry with myself for not trusting that my family had my back. My anger and grudge towards my family caused me to distant myself from them for a while. Of course, they did not know this, it’s not their fault. It was something inside me, I know that my family was there deep inside but the surface part of me was so broken I couldn’t see it myself.  

When the stroke happened to my Dad all of my anger and resentments went away. None of those stupid things mattered. I am just happy he is here with us today. I feel like my family and I are much stronger now than ever.

When that happened so many doors opened up for me. My heart was healed and my mind was clearer: none of those things are more important than loving my family no matter what.

When that happened I realized how short life truly is. I realized how much could change in a day, in an hour, in a minute, in seconds.

When that happened I realized to be grateful for what I have, for what is, for what was and for what is there to come.

When that happened I realized how important it is to learn to love others unconditionally by learning to love myself unconditionally. A different view in life came to me telling me the right way to love someone {I have my Mom to thank for that}.

When that happened I was faced with the reality that I have been selfish.

When that happened I was face with the reality that no one is perfect and that everyone is just doing the best that they could.

When that happened I realized how much my family means the world to me.

When that happened I realized that I was so broken and inflicting all my wounds to my family.

There are many many more things I learned in just that one day. That one moment that changed my life. That one moment that made me want to cherish my time with my parents, to cherish moments of joy and laughter with my family. That one moment that made me realized that I had to heal for others. That one moment that changed my life is the moment I thought I could lose my FATHER. (He is ok, by the way)

“It takes us losing something, someone, ourselves or time to truly appreciate what we once took for granted. I don’t want loss to be the eye opening moment anymore. Why are we so blind to good things?” – Kyle Fasel

Learn to heal yourself instead of inflicting your pain onto others. Learn to heal yourself so that you may cherish the most important people in your life the right way. Learn to heal yourself so that you won’t have any regrets. Learn to heal yourself so that you may help others heal themselves. Learn to heal yourself because you are the only one that could.

My love for my family is an epitome of trust, acceptance (for what is) & forgiveness. Without them my world will never be the same.

 

FORGIVING OUR PARENTS, OUR FRIENDS, OURSELVES

“The holiest of all spots on earth is where an ancient hatred has become a present love.” – A Return to Love, Marianne Williamson.

As always, Thank you for taking a moment to read my thoughts.

Yours Truly Yours,

Piawia.